Joke and smile

A doctor, an engineer, and a politician!!
A doctor, an engineer, and a politician were arguing as to which profession was older. "Well," argued the doctor, "without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession." "No," said the engineer, "before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create some semblance of order from this chaos. So engineering is older." "But," chirped the triumphant politician,"who created the chaos?

An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing!!
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group was silent for a moment. Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

Golfers:
Four older men stand on the first tee. Just as Ralph is about to hit his tee shot, a funeral procession drives by. Ralph takes off his hat and bows his head until the procession is finished. Once the procession is over, he puts his hat back on his head and starts to line up his shot. John and the other guys are astonished.
John says, "Ralph, we have had a standing tee time together for the past 10 years. We didn't know that you were such a sentimental guy."
Ralph says, "We were married for 25 years, it's the least I could do."

On the lighter side:

Two friends met after a long time...

Hey, I got married!

Oh! Thats good!

No, that's bad. She's ugly!

Oh! That's Bad!

No, that's Good. She's rich!

Oh! That's good!

No, that's bad ! She won't give me a cent...

Oh! That's bad!

No, that's Good! She bought me a big house!

Oh! That's good.

No, that's bad! The house burnt down!

Oh! That's bad!

No, that's good! She was inside

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh!

You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!

TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.

Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them 

You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.

USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you 

You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

Somebody knocks on the door -
Who is there-
Police-
What do you want-
We want to talk-
How many of you are there-
Two-
So talk with each other-